Tonight I had every intention of writing about keeping baby clothes organized, as many of my future posts will revolve around baby products, organization, DIY, and an assortment of many other baby-related topics. As our weekend is wrapping up, however, I’m having another one of those reflective moments (I promise, they aren’t that often) and feeling compelled to let my writing wander elsewhere.
Earlier this week we had some family ask if they could stay with us for the weekend. Knowing we’d be in town, our automatic answer was yes – anyone we love is always welcome at our house! Matt had used a vacation day Friday, and for the first time in awhile, he had a whole weekend off from work. His job has had demanding hours lately, and while Tayler and I are beyond grateful for the hard work he puts in to support us, we had been missing our man. Later that day I really looked over our calendar, and began to notice that this weekend was the only one for quite some time that we weren’t traveling, and wouldn’t have guests. This one, sacred weekend. What a problem to have, right? I don’t think I can even call it a problem! We are incredibly blessed to have people to go see and people in our lives that want to come see us, but every now and then you just need that family time.
So I did something that for anyone who knows me, was not easy. I (very apologetically) asked our family if they could come another time. Not to be rude, but this weekend just wasn’t going to work. The wife in me desperately needed those few hours each night with my husband. And the mother in me desperately needed my daughter to have uninterrupted, focused, and quality time with her daddy. I needed it for my mental, emotional, and (can I say physical without offending anyone?) health. So I spoke up.
I learned awhile ago that those things you cherish in life, those things you want to last, you treat differently. My family and my marriage being two of those things. The two most important things. So I spoke up. I was stingy and selfish with our time. I wasn’t going to let another month go by without a full, family weekend. Would we still be together if we had guests stay with us? Absolutely. But would our time together be spent the same? Absolutely not.
This weekend we went on walks. We all napped on the couch. We ran errands together. We built fires and watched sports and movies. We set up Tayler’s swing outside. We played in the yard. Matt did her bedtime routines. Matt fed her more, got her up from naps, and played with her all morning in her playroom. Matt and I got to drink wine, play Scrabble, snug on the couch, play basketball outside, and all the other boring things parents of a little one do. We let the house get dirty. We didn’t worry about keeping anyone else happy and comfortable but ourselves. And we laughed. A lot. Oh, did we laugh.
10 years from now will we remember this weekend? Maybe. Probably not. But I refused to let another weekend go by where we weren’t able to do all these things together that fill up your heart, and fill up your tank to get you through those long weeks. The old me would’ve just gone with the flow, and let this weekend slip by. (And not that it would’ve been wasted by any means – time with our extended families are invaluable). But weekends like this are far, few, and necessary if we are going to treat our marriage and our family like they should be treated. I now refuse to feel guilty for speaking up. Our family is too important and time goes by way too fast to not fight for these times together.
I AM going to shield and protect my family. I am never going to abuse it, and I am never going to expose it to the elements. It is not common or ordinary, and I will never treat it so. It is special because we’ve made it so, and will continue to make it so.
This simple, quiet, seemingly uneventful weekend was perfect. And it was because we made it so. 🙂
(And to our family that was supposed to visit, if you’re reading this – thank you for being so understanding. Cant wait to have you stay in a few weeks! 🙂